I don’t cheat on myself

” I don’t cheat on myself.” Those are the words of the enigmatic poet, Bob Dylan. He also once said, “Words are everything.”, I feel the same -perhaps to others, just a game. I have cheated on myself. I have been cheated. The sword of duplicity slashed every recognizable portion of my being, and forced me to take note, that the truth is a lie. I’ve settled for demons.  I’ve settled for last place. I’ve settled for an illusion opposed to the tangible. While I applied basic first aid, to mortal wounds, band aids to soul trauma, while I danced as fast as I could, to allow a leech to bleed me dry, in hopes I would one day, catch his eye, his sights were firmly set on the thrill of cheating himself and others. His appetite insatiable for the bankruptcy of other’s egos. He scrambled for fiction with such ease in alignment with deception, he spilled the beans, the blood, the lies, and cried for himself when the karmic pain bit him back. He cheated himself.
Some of life’s lessons are the most toxic, most destructive, most transformative, and written in the stars. They spelled out a lesson that slit my soul searching the skies. Life has settled and clarity no longer alludes me. I rebuild my soiled soul, piece by peace, and, I no longer cheat on myself. 


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